Custodial Grandparents get help from Prairie State

BLOOMINGTON -- Whether it's preparing for the first day of school, nursing a fever or negotiating a curfew, custodial grandparents stand in for mothers and fathers who can't or won't care for their own children.

Grandparents teach and encourage, mark milestones and manage crises. In essence, they assume all the responsibilities of their grandchildren's missing parents.

But many do so without legal authority, and that can create problems. Schools may refuse to enroll the children, doctors may resist treating them. Government aid often won't kick in until a legal relationship is established.

"It can get real sticky," said Aderian McPherren, a 74-year-old Bloomington woman who raised two grandchildren and currently serves as the primary caregiver for her 2-year-old great-granddaughter.

Now, Prairie State Legal Services is educating custodial grandparents about their rights and helping them navigate the court system with a new program funded by a grant from the East Central Illinois Area Agency on Aging.

However, grandparents may be reluctant to assert their rights or take the case to court for various reasons, including pride, privacy concerns, wariness of the child-welfare system, legal fees and uneasiness about confronting their grandchildren's parents.

Although statistics show the number of grandparents raising grandchildren has spiked in recent years, Prairie State has fielded only a handful of requests for assistance from grandparents since recently implementing the program.

"We're a little surprised that we're not getting as many calls for this type of service," said George Boyle, managing attorney of the nonprofit legal-aid group's Bloomington office.

Rising numbers

According to Census 2000, more than 213,645 children statewide live in households headed by grandparents, including 1,715 in McLean County. Grandparents serve as the primary caregiver for roughly half of those children, said Mike O'Donnell, executive director of the East Central Illinois Area Agency on Aging. Statistics show 606 grandparents in McLean County are raising grandchildren.

The trend is being driven by illness, poverty, incarceration, domestic violence and, most often, drugs and alcohol.

"The one that seems to be recurring the most often is substance abuse," said O'Donnell.

Many grandparents initially take grandchildren as a short-term measure, but end up as the primary caregivers due to the severity of the parents' problems.

Experts say legal assistance is particularly important in these cases because of the financial burdens, day-to-day pressures, custody issues and other problems that arise with long-term care.

Prairie State offers help

Prairie State Legal Services can represent grandparents fighting for custody, obtain orders of protection, and help resolve housing disputes with landlords who object to children who aren't listed on the lease. Lawyers also assist grandparents gain legal standing that gives them eligibility for government services, food stamps and monthly payments.

"They're really conscientious and they try to make ends meet, but some just don't have enough ends," Boyle said

Edith West, 59, of Bloomington, first became a licensed foster parent and later arranged a subsidized adoption to help provide for her two young grandsons, ages 7 and 8. She receives about $300 per month per child plus medical coverage, and the adoption enabled her to add the boys to the dental and eye care insurance she receives through her job at The Eureka Co.

Still, West said the money doesn't go far. Caring for her grandsons meant sacrificing her social life for arduous child care tasks. "Basically, you go back to being a full-time mother," she said. "I very seldom go out -- your life is completely changed.

"There's times that it's very rewarding, but there's times when you think, 'My goodness, why did I do this again,'" she added, half-jokingly.

West said it took years to finalize the adoption, forcing her to juggle her job and numerous other responsibilities around court hearings.

"There was a lot of frustration," she said.

Court concerns

Such frustration is one of the factors that deter some grandparents from going to court to legalize the custodial relationship with their grandchildren. Others don't want to be scrutinized by the child welfare system.

"Sometimes there's misinformation, and the grandparent is fearful of the state," O'Donnell said.

Cost is another concern -- grandparents on fixed incomes may not be able to afford an attorney and don't qualify or aren't aware of options such as Prairie State Legal Services.

Grandparents also may avoid court because of pride and concerns about privacy, which older people tend to guard more fiercely than their children. They may be embarrassed to ask for help, or hesitant to publicly acknowledge the family is having problems.

"They take it as a family matter, and they try to deal with it privately," said Jennifer Wolfe, an attorney at Prairie Legal Services.

"There's a lot of families going through this, it's nothing to be ashamed of," O'Donnell said. "It could happen to anyone."

Family rifts

Finally, going to court can cause deep family rifts by pitting grandparents against their own children if there's a dispute about custody.

"One of the first things a grandparent may have to do is look at the fact that their own child is non-functioning or at least doing an atrocious job of raising their children," McPherren said.

That's a tough step for many grandparents. It may evoke feelings of guilt, and grandparents who lose custody fights risk embittered parents cutting off their contact with the grandchildren.

Every case is different, and each grandparent must weigh the circumstances in deciding which legal option to take, said Barbara Schwartz, coordinator of the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren program at the Department of Public Aging.

Even grandparents whose cases go smoothly often face a hard road in raising their grandchildren. More services specifically geared for custodial grandparents are needed, Schwartz said.

"The programs weren't designed with grandparents raising grandchildren in mind. ...We're putting a Band-Aid on a lot of things," she said.

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